Christian parenting is beyond providing food, clothing, shelter, and education for Children. These are all important but love for them and helping them to develop a godly Character is second to none. I will be discussing five important principles of Christian parenting.
Firstly, training Children in God’s Word! This is how God the Father develops godliness in us. “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. Ephesians 5:26
This is how Christ washes the church with the water of the Word to make her blameless and holy. Parents must do the same with their children by training them with God’s word; telling them the stories in the bible, praying with them and chipping in God’s word whenever they are discussing with them. Wisely lead them to recognize sin, our need for Christ and ultimately genuine acceptance of the Lordship of Jesus.
As children mature and start taking decisions, parents should encourage them to pray to God and seek His wisdom. Parents who are trying to demonstrate Christian parenting must saturate their home with the Bible, as well as practice the truths in it. The Word of God is what trains children and equips them to live for God.
Secondly, the imitation principles! We must not only train our children in God’s word but also demonstrate the character of God to them. “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” Ephesians 5:1-2
As we look at God and His Word, we can imitate His way of parenting. His way of parenting is the only perfect one we can imitate as parents! God as a parent is loving, caring, righteous, holy, etc., and therefore, His children can exhibit these characteristics by imitating Him.
Children easily imitate the character of their parents, that’s why parents must exhibit good character. Children raised in a loving home, respecting home and God-fearing home will typically mimic the virtues demonstrated by their parents. Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. We must be a good example for our children to follow.
Thirdly, the discipline principle! Christian parenting requires parents to discipline Children! The word “discipline” means: “training to act by rules”, “activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill”, or “punishment inflicted by way of correction or training.”
The secret to discipline is a healthy balance between corrective communication and punishment. When children are young, there should be less reasoning and more punishment so that they learn obedience.
As they grow older, there should be more communication and less punishment. If parents don’t teach them obedience through punishment when they are young, they won’t respond to communication and reasoning when they are old.
Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14
Discipline should never be given in anger. Scripture says, “Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” James 1:20. When parents yell at their children or spank them in anger, they are abusing them. It will not produce the righteous life that God desires in children. Parents should be calm and measured when disciplining a child.
In addition, when deciding the punishment, parents must discern the difference between childishness and foolishness. Children are going to mess up themselves one time or the other; that is childishness. But when they mess up themselves to rebel then it’s no longer childish behaviour but foolishness. Childishness should not be punished but corrected.
Disobedience to parents brings distance in relationships. However, when the parent disciplines the child, it should create a greater distance but it restores intimacy. This is how God’s discipline functions with us.
Sin separates us from God, but His discipline is meant to draw us back into intimacy with Him. This is another reason why parents shouldn’t discipline their children while in anger or give them unfair discipline; it further alienates the child instead of drawing him closer. When you discipline a child in anger you are abusing the child!
Fourthly, parents must avoid provoking their children to anger. It’s very important for parents not to discipline children in a way that provokes rebellion. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21
In the text above, Paul spoke to fathers and commanded them not to provoke their children lest they become discouraged. Provoking a child can breed anger in them that may affect their character for the rest of their lives. This anger will result in rebellion both towards the parents and towards God and may keep them from ever becoming the righteous seed that God desires.
“The word “father” can also be translated as “parents” We can see this in Hebrews 11:23 which says, By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command.
This sin is not only committed by fathers; it is also committed by mothers. Parents can provoke their children to become rebellious. Also, favouritism among children, abusing them and neglecting them are part of a long list parents must avoid in other not to provoke their children.
It’s also necessary to note that healthy parenting is not only to discipline children but also to reward them. Parents reward their children when they do well and discipline them when they do wrong. Children start to learn fairness through this balanced approach.
My final Christian parenting principle to discuss now is; knowing your children! Knowing and understanding your children create a better relationship with them. You must make an effort to know what they are good at and encourage them to pursue it, especially, at a time they are not bold enough to take the first step towards it or face a challenge!
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
God knew Jeremiah and encourage him to do what he has been born for even when Jeremiah felt too young to take his first step towards what God had in mind when He formed him. Parents too must know their children if they want to demonstrate Christian parenting and lead them into God’s plan for their lives. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverb 22:6
“In the way he should go” can also be translated as “his way” or “who he is.” To explain this better, you can also say what God had in mind when He formed them or the reason they were born!
Unfortunately, Some parents harm their children by trying to train them in a way God didn’t form them! Some parents normally do this by forcing their kids into the medical field, Legal field, popular sport etc., even though their children show no talent or passion in those areas.
God gives us children who are already uploaded with a unique and specific program like a computer. We can not use software uniquely made for an Apple with a PC. It’s the same with children. Some were created towards the arts, technology, or serving ministries.
It is the job of parents to get to know what God had in mind before He formed them through knowing their skills, talents, passion etc and encourage them in those areas. This can be difficult for parents, especially if how their child is formed doesn’t fit their expectations or what might be considered a top career in society.
However, we are called to train a child according to his way or according to what God had in mind when He formed them and not ours’ or others’. Their “way” may not appeal to us, but ultimately, we are raising children for God and fulfilling His calling on their lives.
In conclusion, God did not just call us to be fruitful and multiply but to raise our children in the way of the Lord, help them discover what God had in mind when He formed them and encourage them to do accordingly.
PRAYER
“The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’ (Amen)
