We all have people that God brings across our path who are there for a lifetime or a season; our spouse, children and friends who cherish us and are loyal… They stick with us through thick and thin. However, some relationships are for a season. The scripture says, To everything, there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven… Ecclesiastes 3:1
One of the hardest things for us is to let people go. You have to recognize when their season in your life is over. It doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends, but it’s not going to be the same. If not, we try to hold on to things that God has finished with.
When that season is over, there is not going to be grace for it… there is this tension, they want to leave, but we don’t want them to go. Now it’s a struggle, a strain, trying to force it to work out. But when someone’s season has come to an end in your life, you have to allow them to take a walk and don’t fight it.
Here is the challenge; if you do convince them not to take a walk, how you force the relationship to remain is how you are going to maintain it. It’s going to be a constant struggle to keep performing and manipulating it to remain relevant.
The scripture says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, we labour in vain” (Psalm 127:1) If you will let God build your relationships and trust Him with who comes into your life, then it’s not going to be a struggle. You can be who you are, you don’t live trying to force people to like you or lower your standards to be accepted.
If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, it’s no big deal, you let them go. It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or something is wrong with them, they are just not right for you at that time. Maybe they were fine for a season, but this is a new season. Allow God to determine who comes through the door of your life and who goes out!
GOD IS OUR DOORKEEPER
The scripture talks about how God is our doorkeeper, He opens and closes doors in our lives. (John 10:3) When God closes a door, there is nothing you can do to keep that door open. (Revelation 3:7)
You can strive, and strain, try to talk people into staying, and perform better, that is labouring in vain. All that is going to do is wear you out, frustrate you, and cause you to get bitter. Try a new approach and let them go.
We hear that phrase “They ghosted me”, and they just disappeared, they didn’t call, they didn’t respond. They may have ghosted you, but sometimes it’s the Holy Ghost shutting that door. They don’t even know why, it’s because God is your doorkeeper.
The scripture says that “God will never leave us or forsake us”. If they walked out, ghosted you, betrayed you and you needed them, that would mean God was forsaking you. You can conclude that if they walked away, their season in your life was over. (Hebrews 13:5)
If they don’t want to be your friend, you don’t need them. If they don’t value you, make you feel like you don’t have something to offer, they are not for you, you have to move on. Quit trying to talk to people into staying who don’t want to stay, let them walk.
Jesus told His disciples, “When you go into a city, if they don’t accept the message of the good news, they are not for you, and they don’t want you to be there”, He didn’t say, “You got to work harder, spend more time, try to convince them”. No, He said, “Shake the dust off your feet and go on to the next house or city “. (Matthew 10:14),
He was saying, “Don’t waste your time trying to win people over who are not a part of your destiny”. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, they don’t like you, they don’t validate you; shake the dust off and move on. Accept that they are no longer a part of your story and get over that crossroad of your life.
A CROSSROAD
There is a lady in the scripture named Naomi. Her husband passed away, and she became a widow at a young age. 10 years later both of her grown sons were killed. She was at a crossroads and so heartbroken, she decided to move back to her hometown of Bethlehem. (Ruth 1:6-22)
She told her two daughters-in-law Ruth and Orpah that they should move back to their homes as well, and go on with their lives. The three of them packed up their belongings and headed out on the road toward Judah.
They came to an intersection and stopped. Naomi said, “This is where we part ways, you both go that way, and I’m going to go on to Bethlehem”. The scripture says, “Orpah kissed Naomi goodbye and headed down the road”.
Orpah was a good person, she loved Naomi, but now she was leaving. Naomi could have been upset and thought, after all I did for her she is leaving me in my darkest time when I need her the most”. No, Naomi understood; this was a new season, that things had changed, that it was okay for her to walk away.
The mistake we make sometimes is instead of kissing them goodbye, we kick them goodbye; get out of here, I didn’t like you anyway”, talk bad, critical, and live offended. They may have done you wrong, betrayed you, left you out; God is your vindicator. He will take care of who hurts you, but if you let that bitterness get on the inside, it’s going to poison your next relationship.
However, the other daughter-in-law Ruth was just the opposite. Naomi tried to get her to leave, she said “Ruth there is no future going with me, nothing in Bethlehem for you, you deserve more for your life”.
She gave her best speech, and every opportunity to leave with no guilt, but Ruth said in verse 16, “Naomi, I can’t leave. I will go wherever you go, live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, your God will be my God. May the Lord punish me if I allow anything to separate us”.
You are not always going to understand what God is doing, and why this person treated you very well. Or why this person treated you badly… Leave it in God’s hands! Don’t spend all your energy trying to fight the season, God is your doorkeeper at any crossroad of your life if you can just accept the season and trust God for the best.
ACCEPT THE CHANGE
You have to be at peace with who left, you have to accept who walked away as a part of God’s plan. Yes, it was painful, and wasn’t fair, but God wouldn’t have allowed it if it wasn’t moving you toward your destiny. It is a season of life, accept it and move to the next season that God has planned for you.
Your part is to honour God, treat people with respect, be kind, and be loving, but you don’t have to beg people to stay, you don’t have to play up to that friend, hoping they will give you the time of day.
Your destiny is not tied to those that left you. God doesn’t need anything you lost to bless you. Those who walked away didn’t understand, that betrayal didn’t stop what God has for you. Let it go. Quit dwelling on it, reliving the hurt, hoping that you can pay them back, trying to change their mind.
God closed that door. I’m asking you to be at peace with those who have walked away. Quit trying to hold on to people that don’t want to be there. You are not supposed to chase people to love you, accept you, and believe in you. You don’t need them. This takes the pressure off you; no more striving, straining, trying to convince people to be for you. That’s labouring in vain.
Trust God to be your doorkeeper and accept the season. Trust Him with your relationships. If you will do this, I decree and declare that God will bring you divine connections, and the right people for every season of your life. Orpah may have left, but God has some Ruth’s coming for you, people that cannot leave, in Jesus’ name.
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’!
